Mother said...

... very little. She's a Tree.

But if she could talk, she would say there would be days like these, where one is nearly prepared to comply with waif couture, just to get something to fit right.

::Shakes fist::

::gets over it::

::Will post pictures from Una's Mardi Gras party soon!::

It's not easy being short in Second Life

I exist in a world where 5'10" is considered an acceptable height for model, and then I exist in another world where 5'10" (My avatar's height according to several measuring devices) is down right shrimp-y.

Second Life is just not made for short people. Earlier, when working on my new IC work tools, I realized my feet did not reach an important element needed to operate the device. Kisses never line up, When I dance with my husband I float several feet off of the ground. My four-year-old... comes up to my elbow.

So it makes even less sense that I am married to a big ol' Centaur Blacksmith, one would think. I mean, look at our scale difference.



But, I kinda love that. I like a big strong guy. Broad shoulders, and tall enough to give me a neck cramp. I like a man who works hard... woof woof.


^{Until he mocks me with the Lolipop kid song and dance.}

But I have to tell you, I do love being a short avatar despite of all the drawbacks, I like it since I try to be somewhat authentic with Hellenic women (who nymphs were modeled after, after all in fact I'd be a little chubbier if Prim skirts didn't make one's life hell.) I specifically enjoy having short legs... I like a shapely leg, not a sticky one... and I find that even average length legs in SL look like chop sticks.

I like to be unique. That's all. Just sayin'

This space left intentionally blank.

My RL has been sort of crazy, well, my RL is always crazy. (It should say something when one escapes from the crazy by going to SL haha) What I mean is I have somehow picked up a sort of "social" family life IRL again. I am NOT complaining about that, it's just changed my schedule a bit, and made my SL time in world a wee bit unpredictable, and I haven't been able to spend time in world in the evening much.


^{Hardly enough time to spin a leek.}

Looking for balance in world and out has been a theme, but I am starting to regain focus and direction in SL, and even if I have not been world as much lately, I feel like I am accomplishing something. And that is worth something.

/redundant

Happy Valentines Day

This Candy Heart on my lip says "Kiss me." Care for a nibble?


<3

Busy busy.

 That;s what I've been.  I am switching (IC) careers,  and much building needs to be done.


While visiting the lovely ladies two doors down, I caught a very sweet picture:








They look pretty happeh.

Well, now then.

Today has been a really rough, weird day. I'm feeling a little self conscious, and a little like you do when you rez in a crowded sim, with no clothes or hair on.  Not sure how I am feeling about some things (Which means vague post for you! haha!  Don't read too much into things.)

So I wasn't on much today.  And things are a little weird with me atm.  But this is just a heads up. I will be back on my bearings before you know it.

What's wrong with the corner store?

On a weeknight in October of 1990, when it was too cold for a handful of broke teenagers and young adults to do anything until the weekend, my life changed.  I didn't know it was changing at the time, but it was.  My boyfriend at the time and his friends had cleared out a room in his parent's basement,  put two card tables together to create as much seating as possible, and a pile of glossy covered paper back books that looked more like workbooks for school than anything fun, were scattered around them.  That night, I rolled up my very first role-playing character, and while it was not a character or game that stuck with me (Glitter boy; Rifts, for the record) I discovered one of the first things I would love for the rest of my life.  The door in the dark closet I used to write "silly stories" in, and keep them to myself, creaked open... (dramatically, of course...) and I learned there was life after "You're too old to play pretend."

When I was not yet 18, with one, or two kids,  I had a handful of friends I could count on to come to my house.  Other girls my age were partying while I was parrying. Other parents were zoned out in front of the television living vicariously through someone else's story, and direction.  My friends and I, were making our own.  When I was working and going to school, I didn't have energy to go out,  but I could always count on the fact someone was desperate enough for game time, that they would come to me, and even pick up a gallon of milk for me, if it meant I could share some of my time with them.

Role-players, particularly those who are of a tabletop variety, take a lot of shit.  Everything from being pawns of the devil, to socially inept,  but we, the gamers, bear it with a smile, because we know exactly what they are missing.  They are missing out on their own creativity... and their own control of their own lives.  While gamers are shoveling down fistfuls of popcorn with one hand, and rolling dice in another, others of a less playful persuasion are stuffing their faces and their minds with other people's junk food.  What they are *told* they should consume.

I have never been a role-player,  because it suited me best to be one of the masses.  I have been a role-player, because I value storytelling, and my own individuality. Even when it comes to core rule books and supplements for game settings... my books are scribbled in the margins, with rule variations, and changes we made to customize that guideline book into our worlds. ((are as any good RPer's books ))

Now I could sit here and tell you what systems I have played, my favorite sort of character to play within them, tell you the systems I hate/loved and why.  We could sit here all day and talk about what editions of certain RPG games are valuable, and which ones are shit, and we can disagree or agree, but it doesn't really matter, because it is more about playing than it is ever about the game.

I have played in big groups and small groups, and I can tell you which ones work better.

Tabletop, LARP, Online and off, There is really only ever been one time of RPing I had never done until about a year ago...  take a guess at what that is.  I came to this format for a lot of reasons, one of them was for a change of scenery, a new set of challenges after being an old dog at too many things.  I wanted to be able to use the visual medium along with gathering a group of folks to RP with...  this has never been hard for me. ever.  I have never been unable to find someone to game with.  I could go down to the game store right now, and pick up a fist full of strangers right now if I wanted. (The thing is, I don't want to, droolers whore themselves out from game stores for a good reason... they can't keep a solid game elsewhere, but I digress)

Maybe I fit in a lot less with Second Life than I am comforted to think that I am. Because It seems to me that people measure the success of an RP in SL  on the yard stick of member numbers, and traffic, and how busy it is at any given moment of the day...  As I said before, I have played in big groups and small groups, and I can tell you which ones, I prefer.

It's not like there are not RP opportunities in SL, oh my, there are oh so many places I can go and bicker all day and spend more time being a rules-horse than gaming.  I can find a sim to wander around and act like a twink if I want to.  I can power game, if I want to. (I don't want to.)  and I can hack and slash if I want to.  There are plenty of places on SL for that.

But I don't want to do that.  Which is why I am in a different place.  I am weary, very weary, of hearing complaints and veiled comments about how we are not successful because we are not [inset name of mega super themed sim here]. Well frankly, it's  a little bit like saying "You can't possibly be successful, unless you are wal*mart, chewing up and spitting out the competition."

No.  That isn't what makes good gaming. Not for me, anyway.

Any good gamer, or anyone with a sliver of imagination should be able to understand when they are confronted with that analogy.  Bigger, and busier, is not always better.  It doesn't serve everyone, we are just lead to think that it is, and... I dare say, quality suffers.  Too many cooks in a kitchen makes a hell of a mess.  If you bite off more than you can chew, you choke.
 
I am under the impression (based on the complaints and the comments, and the downright insulting tid bits of information that come my way that I have known since I was 16...)  people must want Wal*mart. Because surely, we are not successful if our traffic dips below 2000, and there are not people there every single moment of every single day. I guess people want the clusterfucks that happen out of huge gaming situations... (Which when the clusterfuck happens, they certainly are the first to say that they didn't want the drama!)

I don't. I don't want to be Mega super themed sim. I don't want to be wal*mart.  I want to be the corner store. I want to know everyone's name, and their family, and their history.  I want substance made from people's souls, not plastic crap made in China. I want to say we are a family, and I want to *mean* it.  I'm never going to get to do that on Mega super themed sim.  I don't want to tell people who they can and can't be, or be heavy handed about what is or isn't allowed. Mega super themed sim has no choice but to do that.  If that means there are only ever ten, of us, as long as we are breaking even, who cares?

Why is it shameful to be anything else than a corporate box store?

I don't want to work at walmart.... in fact, I *won't* work at walmart.

I'm fine with being the corner shop.

Have you seen me?

I am so desperate for this hair, and yet can not find it anywhere.



(Product found at: http://slurl.com/secondlife/ZARA/58/73/30  But not the hair.)

Also, this hair, which is so similar they might be the same:


But even though this kindly vendor offers a note card filled with hair locations from their models,  this one is not included in the list. (Product found here: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Chinook/253/128/38) but not the hair.

I have bought a lot of hair lately, which always means a lot of fail, even when you try on the demos firest.  But, such is second life.

On the wise words of my dear brother,  I realize somethings have to change about how I spend my time in SL,  it's about balance.  It didn't occur to me until this morning that perhaps if I played more in the land that I love, that more people would be playing with me, and thus, my work would be done.

Today,  I need to spend some time in the RPM, and Brenn though. fortunately it involves shopping for things. Yay shopping!

Getting into the Swing of things: Harder than it sounds.

I have such a case of mixed emotions and frustrations now, having been offline, and being back.  It's like, I have lost my place in a book I was reading, and am so behind on homework I don't know where to begin.  I can't tell where I am more needed, or my time is better spent.  I feel guilty for even wanting to work on personal projects, and I feel guilty for standing around doing little, when I don't know what to do!  Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for a list of chores,  but self direction and better time management for myself. Because I look at the goals I had when I signed on, I hear people criticize that they have not been "started" (when they have.)  I want to work on those, too.


I could look at it as time to play, to make a change too.  But I've done enough sleeping on the job.

Oh shit. that got Emo!  I'm just saying I am not trying to be a waste of pixels right now, I'm just kind of at a loss.